So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
