she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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