its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
