In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
