Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
