your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
