So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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