dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
