His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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