It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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