He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
