Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
