I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
