No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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