i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
