I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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