this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize