Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
