Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
