Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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