I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
