what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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