my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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