How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
