Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
