I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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