there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
why do cheetos always look like penises
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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