I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
