I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
