I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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