He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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