She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
