I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize