If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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