she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
