Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
