I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
