I showed him my bush... on skype.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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