Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
