I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
