I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
