; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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