I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize