There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
