I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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