Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
