I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
