the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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