There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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