I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im six kinds of drunk right now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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