he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
