we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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