woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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