u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize