i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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