We're facebook friends in real life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
