nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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