i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
