I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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