Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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