My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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