Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
