I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
