i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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