Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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